I moved to Reno, NV in the fall of 2005. I was 18-years old and excited, anxious, and nervous to start a new chapter in my life. Being an only child, I was excited to experience freedom and be an independent person. I was starting college, I got to live in the dorms, and be on my own for the first time in my life. I quickly fell in love with Reno, it had some of the perks that Las Vegas had but it is also close to the mountains and to Lake Tahoe. I could hike, kayak, swim, camp and be adventurous during the day, while being able to party all night.

My first few years in Reno I loved it. I may not have been the most responsible person, but I was always busy doing some activity while still enjoying my newfound independence. Time went on and I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in English. I loved reading and writing and had dreams of becoming an editor and spending my days reading books before they came out and editing them. This didn’t happen so I spent my time doing some odd jobs, eventually becoming a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) while going back to school for nursing.  I worked in skilled nursing facility for 3 long years. The things that I experienced forever changed me. I saw things that were terrible, and I wanted to make a difference, make a change from within. With this knowledge I decided to go back to school and get my master’s degree in public health.

This led to a downward spiral in my life. Reno was slowly becoming a toxic place for me. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I was getting a duel master’s degree and working which led to me getting burned out. And I had a series of deaths in my family. Many of my friends moved away to get successful jobs and others stayed but continued to live the party lifestyle. I still have some close friends who are amazing, and I wouldn’t change them for the world. They have been my support system and my rock.

I felt like I was on a slow path to self-destruction. I was in and out of a relationship with the same person, constantly un-happy, but somehow unable to leave. School was hard, I spent my life studying, crying and breaking up and getting back together with the same person over and over. I’m not sure why I did this. I like to think of myself as a strong person, but I let this person make me feel weak and small. I was constantly being berated and made to feel like I wasn’t good enough, that I would never find someone who cared for me because of my flaws.

In addition to this, I had graduated and was working at a place that constantly overworked me and made me feel like I had no value. I worked 60-hour weeks at times on projects for senior leaders and never got any credit for my work. I was a grunt, always trying to prove myself but not quite being good enough. This was a huge blow to my self-esteem.

Needless to say, I was depressed. I spent my time working, fighting with my boyfriend, sleeping or drinking to try and make myself feel something. I didn’t let the people in my life know what was going on. I think a part of me was embarrassed. I have always been the happy go-lucky perky person so that was the persona that I portrayed. This went on for so long that for awhile I forgot what happiness and genuine joy felt like.

It wasn’t until I went to Thailand that I realized what having fun felt like. I had gotten back together with the guy who wreaked havoc on my emotions, but I thought that a trip would be good for us. It ended up not being good for us as a couple, but it was life changing for me! I experienced a new culture; I had several adventures a day and I was able to spend time on an elephant reserve which is where I realized that I hadn’t felt genuine joy in years.

When I returned home I decided that I needed to make a change. I wanted to be happy again and I finally realized how depressed and out of touch I was. I had been applying for jobs in various states just to see if I could get any nibbles, and when I got back from Thailand, I had a few emails from recruiters in Austin, TX and Alaska ask for phone interviews. This was my moment I realized. I dismissed the job in Alaska because I decided I couldn’t live in a place that cold, but I began researching Texas and realized that they had nice weather and that Austin in particular was progressive. Plus, I had a few friends from high school that live there.

So, with visions of a fresh start in life I ended my toxic relationship and began applying for every job I could in Austin. Within a few weeks I had several interviews set up. Towards the end of March, I was offered an amazing position with the State of Austin as a policy analyst. I was so excited to have someone offer me a job based on work that I had done, this is also one of the first jobs I have gotten entirely by myself with no help from anyone.

I flew out to Austin and found a cute place to rent and rekindled a relationship with one of my friends from high school. This is a guy that I have been in love with since I was 16 and we had an amazing time together. It was amazing for me to experience someone who seems to genuinely care and acts like a gentleman. I couldn’t remember the last time someone has opened a car door for me or even held a door to a restaurant open. And to my amazement we didn’t have awkward moments and were able to laugh and have fun like we used to. I have high hopes for the future and can’t wait to see where this leads.

So now, I am less than a week away from leaving Reno. Much like that day when I was 18 and moved here; I am excited, anxious, and nervous. But now I have a new emotion, hope. I am going to a place that I know next to nothing about and where I don’t really have a strong network of friends. But it is also a new adventure, a new start in life, and place where I can find myself and find that joy and hope that I used to have. Yeah, I’m scared. But I know this will be the beginning of something great. I hope you will follow me on this adventure. I want to inspire you to go out and try new things. Find happiness and joy. If I can move halfway across the country to someplace new, think of what others can do! I hope to give you tips on how to navigate new places, find new adventures, and become settled in a new place.